And Yet Still No One is Happy
by cardgames
Summary: Written for Zexal AU Swap. A different timeline where the Kamishiros and Tenjos have switched roles. Spoilers for any dub watchers out there!


Kamishiro Ryoga is ten years old when he loses everything.

He wakes up slowly, painfully, and through a muck of medication. Everything hurts. His chest, his stomach, his head. He feels like he's been trampled over and kicked aside. Why does everything hurt? His heart starts to beat faster, and even that hurts.

"He's awake," says a voice. There are a lot of voices, most of them just out of reach. "Ryoga-kun? Can you hear me?"

He opens his eyes. Everything is white. Is he dead? No, it wouldn't hurt so much if he were dead, would it? (Still, that thought sends something panicked and desperate skittering across his consciousness, some low association that leaves before he can catch it.)

"Ryoga-kun," says the voice again, "I… I'm so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but there's been an accident."

—

A barrage of experiments, day in and day out. They're always different, probably, but Kaito never pays much attention to what they're measuring, because the scientists are the ones who get the data and at the end of the day he's set back to his room to stare at the ceiling and wait.

Have they made any progress? He doesn't think so, but it's hard to tell, because the scientists never talk to him except to give him directions. They murmur at each other in corners of the room as if their readings are a secret—as if he could understand them, as if he could leave this tower to tell anyone even if he did.

All he knows is that they're Different, he and Haruto, and their blood is of keen interest to his father's crew of elite researchers. Today they're giving him small stimuli—shocks through electrodes they have attached to his skin—and recording his response. It doesn't take long for them to escalate, and before long he's wincing with each shock, even trying as hard as he can to stay still.

"This is ridiculous," he says, tearing a few electrodes off by the wires. The scientists seem too startled to know what to do.

"Important research?" he continues bitterly. He finishes with one arm and starts on the other. "Yeah, I'm sure shocking me _again_ is telling you so much. Is this how you treat all your human subjects? Or am I just a lab rat to you?"

"I'm sorry you didn't feel properly informed as to the nature of this experiment, Kaito," says one of the scientists, the one with graying moustache. He's always seemed like an authority figure to them. "We've been giving you the most difficult experiments, that much is true. But that's only because we thought you were more capable of enduring them. We would prefer to give young Haruto the easiest tasks—although if you don't feel equipped to handle them—"

Kaito bristles. That's clearly a threat, but he do much about it, because it's true, they're both helpless here, and if he puts up a fight they'll always have Haruto, and just the thought of them putting Haruto through anything like this makes him feel sick.

"There will be no need for that," he says stiffly. "I'm ready to resume."

Most of the scientists look as inscrutable as ever, but there are a few who look unsettled, who Kaito decides to keep in mind as potentially sympathetic towards him, if ever comes to that. The maternal-looking woman with her hair in a tight bun. The old man, the oldest in the group. And the boy with the braid, the one too young to do much besides watch.

—

His parents are dead and he's being taken away from his home and he's losing everything he knew all at once, his family and manor and the hallway he used to race Rio through and the rug in front of the fireplace.

They don't have any other relatives who could look after them. They're wards of the state now, whatever that means. The man with the paperwork had brought them home to pack up anything they needed, and now stands in front of their house looking at his watch. Ryoga can see him through the window, but he ducks away quickly when the man glances their way, because if he knew they were done he would probably come get them and make them leave and he wants to stay here, breathing in the air his parents used to breathe.

"It'll be okay," says Rio. She had packed her tiny suitcase and then sat on the edge of her bed, staring at nothing and thinking intently. Ryoga had wanted to make his way through the entire house, touching the walls of each room, but she hadn't wanted to look at any of it. "At least we're together." She touches his hand encouragingly.

That's true; he hasn't lost everything after all.

"Besides," she says, "Heartland is a city for children. Everyone says so. I'm sure—I'm sure they'll treat us well."

—

Kaito had never paid much attention to the boy with the braid before, because he didn't do much but take notes and look at readings and occasionally do something under the instruction of a senior scientist, but now he watches him. He looks even younger than Kaito had first guessed—_only a couple years older than me_, he thinks. He doesn't know how another teenager ended up in a lab like this, but what matters is that the boy with the braid looks troubled sometimes, and sometimes smiles slightly when they make eye contact before he realizes he's not supposed to interact with him. He seems like the kindest of the lot, or at least the youngest and most impressionable.

Kaito begins to think of a way to get him alone. It's tough. He doesn't know where to begin. The scientists come in every morning and leave every evening, and in his downtime Kaito is allowed to visit Haruto (when he's not sleeping, which is a lot of the time, but even then Kaito will sit at his bedside and hold his hand) or walk through the gardens. The scientists aren't supposed to be there, and he doesn't even know where they go at the end of the day.

As it turns out, it doesn't matter, because the boy with the braid finds _him_. One day as the scientists are heading out the door, he drops his clipboard and spills papers across the floor. He apologizes to the other scientists and stays behind to clean up, and as the door closes he turns around to look at Kaito.

"I just wanted to say," he says, quickly and purposefully, "that it's clear to me you love your brother. And I think it's very admirable, what you did the other day."

It takes Kaito a moment to understand what he's talking about, because nothing stands out in his mind as particularly noteworthy. Then he realizes. The way he had given in to their blackmail.

"That? That's nothing. Anyone would have done the same."

"Ah… I suppose you're right," says the boy, and Kaito feels like he's disappointed him somehow. He doesn't want that, he wants him to be impressed again, this boy with the braid is the only chance at a friend he has in this godforsaken place—

"I'm Kaito," he says, which is completely stupid, because obviously he already _knows that_. He holds out his hand awkwardly. The other boy hesitates, and Kaito wonders if even this is beyond acceptable contact, but then he shakes his hand and smiles.

"Christopher Arclight. You… can call me Chris, if you'd like."

—

Someone brings them dinner the first night and shows them around the premises. She tells them where they can go (the cafeteria, the courtyard) and where they can't (pretty much everywhere else). She takes them back to their room, which is smaller and dingier than they would have expected, and tells them a staff member will retrieve them when they are needed.

The next day they start the testing. They're medical tests, the nurse says, to make sure they're healthy. It seems like a lot, just for that. Ryoga's been to the doctor before and all they did was weigh him and take his blood pressure and look around in his mouth and ears. These tests use strange machines, and he's not sure what they're measuring. He goes back to their room that night rubbing the bruise on his arm from where they drew blood.

He and Rio never shared a room before, but he's glad they're doing it now. They lie awake and talk about the things they'd seen that day, the weird people, the weird tests. He feels better, a little more optimistic, because nothing can be _that_ bad as long as Rio is with him.

"Hey," she says, after a moment of quiet, "remember the time you broke that vase, and Mother—"

"I don't want to talk about that," he says. Thinking about their parents still hurts. He'd rather harden his heart and not think about them at all.

—

He wasn't sure he and Chris would be able to talk again, but Chris is really, really good at finding little moments throughout the day. They never have long, and Kaito can never really ask him anything he _wants_ to ask—but it's nice having something like a friend, someone on his side for once.

"Good morning, Kaito," says Chris one morning, adjusting the electrodes on his arm. "These are just for measuring your vitals today. From now on, we'll be observing your reactions to various substances. None of them should be dangerous or painful; we're just curious if there will be a reaction at all, to be honest."

"Have you learned anything?" Kaito asks quietly. Chris freezes. "Does this mean you're making progress? Or is this another shot in the dark?"

"This is hardly the place, Kaito," Chris says, almost apologetically. "Here in the lab—"

"Somewhere else then. Can you come to my room? I won't tell anyone."

Chris is silent, and Kaito wonders if he had gone too far. He would get in a lot of trouble if he was caught, and what reason did he have to risk it? He pitied Kaito, he related to him, maybe he even liked him a little, but none of that was worth such blatant defiance. Chris seems about to say something, but then a few more scientists show up, and the two of them don't talk for the rest of the day.

Kaito waits that night—well, he's not _waiting_, he's just hanging out in his room and thinking that if anyone _happens_ to come by he should probably be here to let them in, right?

No one comes, though. Kaito knew he should have expected it.

The next day Chris is busy running data, and Kaito doesn't see much of him. The next night someone knocks at his door.

—

"I can't believe this," Ryoga says at the end of the day, their first day of training. He sits on the end of his bed and clutches at his sheets with one angry fist. "I can't believe they—they were supposed to _take care_ of us—"

Rio is quiet. She had taken some painful-looking hits that day, and holds a bag of ice against her shoulder.

"We've got to get out of here," he says. He's angrier the more he thinks about it. "We've got to tell someone about these sickos. They'll all be arrested and we can go somewhere else, a normal foster home or something where they don't make you duel those _things_."

"Think about this logically, Ryoga," she says. Her voice is soft. "We're not the first kids they're taken in. They've been doing this for a while. This goes way beyond just us."

"All the more reason to shut them down!" He doesn't understand why she doesn't seem to agree with him.

"They know exactly what they're doing. They're an organization. Do you think they'd let us escape, or talk to anyone? That's why we're not allowed past the courtyard. Even if we did try to escape, they have security all around the outside. I saw them."

"So you just want to—accept this?!"

"We don't have much of a choice." She stares down at her shoes. "Besides… if this is just the training, can you imagine what the punishment for trying to run away would be like?"

Ryoga doesn't want to think about that. He doesn't want to think about much of anything, now that Rio has shut down his plans for escape. He lies awake that night and thinks about possibilities, but none of them seem to work now that he's really thinking about it. When he falls asleep, he dreams about the robot with too many arms. The crackle of lightning. The clinking of gears.

—

"I shouldn't be here," says Chris, but here's here anyway, looking more nervous than Kaito has ever seen him. "If anyone knew about this—"

"I won't tell," says Kaito. Chris smiles slightly at that.

"I know you won't. Listen, Kaito, we're not suppose to tell you any of this, but—but you're a good person and none of this is fair to you. You deserve to know more than any of us, I think. Can we… sit down?"

He has a folder, Kaito notices, a decently thick one. Kaito sits on the edge of his bed and motions to the desk chair, but Chris sits down next to him instead.

"There's a lot I want to show you," he says, opening his folder. "It… sounds a little incredible no matter how you put it, so I'll go ahead and say it: we're doing research on other worlds."

—

Only a few of them make it through the training program, in the end. He doesn't know what happened to the other kids. No one mentions them, after they disappear. Right now it's him and Rio and two others, Gauche and Droite. He likes them. They're tough but also kind, and are always willing to work with him and Rio during training. He doesn't like the fact that he likes them. He never knows when they'll disappear, too.

Mr. Heartland invites him and Rio into his office, after the announcement. They sit stiffly, wondering.

"First of all, congraaaaaatulations on graduating! I take it you have no questions as to the nature of your new assignment?"

"We'll be hunting cards called Numbers," says Rio, "by finding their owners and defeating them in duels."

"Very good! Although, in your case you may end up operating a little differently—I take it you're wondering why I asked you two in here, right? Hahaha! Well, as it turns out, you two are special!"

"Special?" asks Rio.

"That's right, special! After running many tests on you two, and monitoring your performance, we've determined that each of you is a candidate for a new technology we've developed! It will allow you to use the Numbers you've captured without suffering any ill effects, and also use this unique, one-of-a-kind-card that will surely aid you in your quest!"

"Unique means the same thing as one-of-a-kind," Ryoga mutters under his breath.

"Hah! Oh, Ryoga, you always were a joker, weren't you? So what do you say? Would you like to be our chosen one?"

"Not really." He'll capture Numbers if that's what they want, but he doesn't want to be anyone's chosen anything. He's doing this because they've promised that after all the Numbers have been retrieved, they'll be free to leave the complex and move on with their lives. That's that, as far as he's concerned.

"Oh? Well then, what about you, Rio? I have to warn you, it could be rather dangerous. We haven't been able to measure its long-term effects on the human body because most of our subjects aren't strong enough for it!"

"Don't do it, Rio. Why put yourself at risk?"

"Oh? You're answering for her, Ryoga? It would be rather unfortunate if neither of you wanted it, you know. This power would vastly increase your effectiveness. You could capture all the Numbers like _that_! Without it, every duel would be slower and riskier."

"I'll do it," says Rio.

"_I'll_ do it," says Ryoga. It's not that he wants to—but he doesn't want Rio to be the one putting herself in danger, either. If he takes the power and captures all the Numbers himself, then—

"I said it first," she says, frowning. "You just said you didn't want to."

"Oh my!" says Mr. Heartland delightedly. "Unfortunately, we only have one card, so we'll have to find a way to decide who to give it to."

"My performance stats in the simulator were better," says Ryoga. Barely, but still. Rio scowls at that. He continues on. "I was also able to endure the shock resistance treatment longer. My body is stronger. You should give it to me."

Mr. Heartland's eyes light up at that. "A convincing argument," he says. "Very well. Sorry, Rio—you'll have to do as our backup for now." He pulls out a box, and something in the room seems to change. Ryoga feels a tingle down his neck.

"Kamishiro Ryoga… I'd like you to meet Galaxy-Eyes Photon Dragon."

—

He's starting to have weird dreams—if he can even call them that, because there's something off about them. They feel less like dreams and more like stories he's living out. (Or memories, he thinks, but he brushes that aside, because that's absurd.)

When he's asleep, he knows everything about this world. This… kingdom. He knows about the festival for a good catch that's soon approaching. He knows about the fisherman and clam diggers, the way the sun sets over the ocean, the charms women make out of seashells for good luck on the open sea. Haruto is there with him, bright-eyed and healthy. That's the part that stings the most, because when he wakes up it's like coming inside from sunlight and blinking at the sudden darkness, and his salt-aired kingdom is gone and Haruto is still sick and neither of them are ever going to leave this place.

He wonders why these dreams have only started now. Does it have something to do with the experiments? Is he actually reacting to something for a change? But this research is on other worlds, with materials from other worlds, and he's still on Earth in his dreams, he's almost positive.

Maybe he's hallucinating.

—

He's only captured six Numbers, but he's already tired in a way he's never felt before. Six from him, three from Rio, and if Gauche and Droite have three each, too, that's only… eighty-five to go.

Sometimes he blinks and everything goes misaligned for a moment, like he's falling but then he's not. Sometimes his vision blurs, and he feels sick and dizzy. Sometimes he feels like he's about to pass out. Especially after a duel.

He wonders how much worse it will get. Eighty-five to go.

"Are you doing alright?" asks Rio that night. He dueled twice today. He's starting to think that was a mistake.

"Ah… yeah."

"I'm not sure I believe you, Ryoga." She frowns. "Look, there's no timeline on this, alright? Slow and steady is better than fast and reckless."

"It's fine," he says shaking his head and trying to clear the dizziness he feels settling in. "Honestly, I worry more about you. With Galaxy-Eyes plus the Numbers I've collected, no one stands a chance against me."

"What, you don't think I'm strong enough on my own?" She smiles at the provocation. "I'll have you know I'm plenty strong even _without_ a bunch of a special cards—hey, Ryoga—"

She's shouting something, but he can't understand what, because he's falling, for real this time, and then everything goes dark.

He wakes up in a bed in the infirmary, with Rio sitting beside him. She doesn't look surprised to see him opening his eyes, just relieved.

"Geez, finally," she says. "You've been out for two days, did you know that? I _told_ you to take it easy."

"I don't… have much of a choice," he manages to say. "We have to… find all the Numbers before—"

"Before we can go home? I'd rather go home with you alive, you know. Even if that means taking a little longer." She's going for lighthearted, but he can hear the worry in her voice. "Anyway, I tried out Galaxy-Eyes, and _wow_, you really do need to be careful with this stuff."

"You—" he says dumbly, because she—what—

"I asked for the Photon Mode training a while ago, actually," she says. "They were happy to give it to me, after I told them it makes more sense to have both of us trading off. You understand, right? If we each shoulder half the load it's that much less strain on either of us."

He understands what she's saying, but still. "I wanted to protect you," he says, a little pathetically.

"I know you did, Ryoga." She takes his hand. "But I can want to protect you too, right?"

—

Chris has been coming to his room even when there's nothing new to discuss. It's a huge, stupid risk, but it makes Kaito happy, because it means he cares enough to want to spend time with him beyond alleviating his guilty conscience. Chris considers him a friend, he thinks, and the idea of having a real friend in this place gives him a quiet sort of hope.

They duel, sometimes. Chris has been teaching him. He's not that good yet, but he's improving. Sometimes Chris tells him stories about his own brothers, although he always seems a little sad when he's done. Kaito knows enough not to ask where they are now.

They don't have anything planned today, so they sit on the bed and talk. "I've been having weird dreams," Kaito confesses. He hasn't told anyone about them, and it feels nice to admit it. Chris might even know more about them, if they really do have something to do with the experiments.

"Oh?" says Chris, absently shuffling his deck. "What kind of dreams?"

"They don't feel like dreams," says Kaito. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Chris stop moving. "More like memories."

"Memories?" There's something different in Chris' tone, and part of Kaito wonders if he should stop, but how can there be anything wrong with dreams, they're just _dreams_, he must be imagining that Chris has tensed his shoulders.

"Like I'm a king from a thousand years ago," he says, and Chris drops his cards across the floor.


End file.
